Tuesday, March 24, 2009
SOmetimes, feel very lousy.. cant help..
People need encouragement, and they think i'm making their problems worse.. what can i do..
Either ppl feel encouraged or thinks tat i make things worse.
i myself now in the state, still must listen to ppl, talk to ppl, c their face..
at home, everybody so sucks..
if he is to think, i did rather we nv get rich, but at least have enough..
does selling the house make things better?
the only way to solve the problem is to go and work!!
WHY CANT U C IT? 6MONTHS LE, EVERYBODY SUFFERING..
how did i survive past 6 months? i dont know..
allowance is around 60bucks.. not even enough for the transport.
my school fees dont even know how. still dont want go and work..
$1050, mum CPF pay house, dad no work, no CPF.
use what pay? butt?
so many problems already, still add to me..
Church, dont want talk already la. if u know me, u know how am i feeling, what am i doing.
sucks..
CHildren church, instead of growing the group, it gets lesser n lesser..
felt abit dishearten.. Spend 2days for children church, 2 days for church everyweek, everything still like that..
where's that breakthrough..
If xw takes back the group, and can grow it, i rather not take it.
i dont want c them backslide.. cause i nv do a good job..
maybe i dont have that capacity, maybe i am not as good as them, maybe nv spend enough time with kids.. i dont know..
Lets wait to c for EASTER..
if it goes on like that, then, it shows that i'm not up to it..
Frankly speaking, i'm quite open to share..
only some topics, that i dont really like to say, ppl love to ask.
it really irritates and piss me off.
i have told myself, it u dont believe, DONT ASK.
once more, and i will change the answer.
so that can shut all of u up.
What am i really thinking.. i also dont know.
for many many days/weeks, i cant sleep early..
so i slept 3 or 4am everyday.
i tried to sleep earlier each day, till ytd, i offlights at 12.20am. prayed, den, around 12.45? i also dont know. but, i fell asleep after 6.40am.
u know what torture-ous is it when u want sleep, so tired yet cant sleep?
thats why i dont want to go out in morning, because i can only sleep late late at night..
whatever. shall end everything here.
i want to put password in my blog. anyone has the code? thanks
Monday, March 23, 2009
woahhhs!!! i feel like eating!!! how i wish there alre tidbits n chocolates infront of me right now!!!
went to fix my phone today, kena bomb again, so i ask michelle go with me..
omg, the girl is tat is at the servicing counter same age as me sehs. wow..
okay, my phone button 369# IS TOTALLY SPOILT. idiot...
manage to chnage my ear piece to the original one. black..
also, i call RP and ask abt my com le.. the person help me to do my webcam thing le, now okay le.
abt the volume n empowering technology thing, vivian say hers also like tat, mayb its just because window vista enterprise is like tat lors. what to do..
hahas.
i in the room now, very cold sehh!!! air con. lols.. crazy.. i'm so bored!
what to do... lols..
serving on thurs n sat for easter.. boos! gotta do saturation this week as well.. so many things to do..
so tired... so bored..
sigh~ i wanna hide myself from the world for 1 week. can? lols.. lalalas~ byebyes!
Haiz.. dont know, kinda stress.
sit at church cafe alone just now, till sihui join me..
i was drawing, doing my own things.. ate a pack of M&M..
chocolate makes me happy:)
Stress abt own things, plus listening to other ppl stress, more n more stress added on..
Felt like so bad, didnt grow my children church group, den everyweek lesser n lesser.
haiz.. why!! i really dont know how la..
there are many things flowing through my mind now, and i dont think its convenient to say it here.
incase ppl come, see, ask, sarbo. i kena..
i dont like being questioned n controlled.
cant i just do what i want?!
as long it dont hurt, its not something bad..
Haiz, sometimes really feel very stress, unhappy, sad, burden etc..
feel like screaming, letting out everything...
but, just seemed so 'no way', 'no use'..
felt like a changed person after THAT day..
perspections, thinking, mindset, goals, many many more..
really.. i know, the problem lies with me, but, is it really ALL me..
i dont know la.. haiz..
heard ppl telling me wanna leave here, leave there.
do this do that. want this want that. want commit suicide, leave the earth.
haas, whatever it is, good luck to me.
haiz, there is a big problem for this laptop after configuration!!
b4 ocnfiguration, it wasnt like that!! the volume thing, empowering technology thing n WEBCAM! the worse one.
wtH!!! tml must call rp. mayb need go down again. such waste time..
haiz.
my hp, spoilt.
the keypad.
number 3 become change language thing..
6 become space n change language n silent mood thing.
# become cannot press.
WTH! why is everything so messed up.. why why why!!
my world is in a mess!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Hahahaa!!
i dont know what the hell i talking in the other posts..
LOLS! okay, whatever..
just few "pissed" this few days
ppl are really irritating n pissing me..
dont ask me if it's u la.. lols, unless u're guilty of that..
Did visitation today, very very tiring.. 6.45-10.10pm..
my legs have many blisters le.. everytime when i visit..
Later going RP, do the configuration thingy..
i think michelle going with me, cause i pathetically cant find ppl to go..
anw, didnt ask much ppl if they are free..
as i said, sometimes i feel "friendless".. LOL
whatever it is, doesnt matter.
Thurs having the kids party, hopefully all of them turn up..
i'm the game master, i scared i wont do a good job..
cause i'm scared when i c many ppl can..
i dont like to lead, thats y i nv had a vision to be a CGL..
dont be shocked, i've always nv wanted that..
hahas, just happy at where i am? not really. if i can do what i want, best.
i hate ppl controlling me, forcing me, must c the lian se zuo ren..
i really hate it..
dont know need do busing on sunday ma..
kinda tired la.. 5days is "church" related..
i wanna rest! i wanna relax!!
hahahas.. dont know lehs.. haiz..
sians, dont ask me why i so late sleep, cause i cant sleep early
n please, dont early morning, call or msg me. i hate it when ppl wake me up..
so irritating.. even if u can wake me up, i wont pick up..
updated my HATES column..
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE
-copy me
-hang my phone
-lie to me
-bomb me
many more la.. but, please la. whatever it is, just say i BYE b4 u hang ur call wont cost u anything right..
dont say a bye will cost something..
cause me to feel u are showing me ur anger n will make me dislike u..
Also, please dont last min bomb me. at least one day b4 hand can..
unless u got something urgent la..
when ever ppl ask me out, tat i not confirm i can or not, i'll say c first. c how..
cause i dont want last min bomb..
dont u find it irritating?
And, God created us differently with different styles, be urself & not try to be like others. Be unique. so dont try to be a copycat
And, lying makes things worse, i rather hear the truth then use lies to cover it n say, "white lies"
please, once u lie, the trust level drop. very hard to regain it can..
LOL, okay, why am i saying all this? LOLS..
nth to do la..
okok, i'm just randomly talking n typing actually.
unless u are guilty. (:
Good night!!
Monday, March 16, 2009
OMG!!! i getting more n more pissed.
more see more piss..
more see more angry.
what ask me what..
grr!!! save me...
i better forget about it b4 i start to ask stupid things.
nobody shall ask me, especially u.
really.. i feel like asking now.. but, i better dont.
tragedy will come.
grr!!! argghhs!! save me save me.. shit man
regreted going there.. arggghhhs!!!
how how how..
i cant take it.. arhhs!! why must i see things that happen in 2007!! tian ahs!! jiu wo!! july 24- sept 12.
hahas, curious what is it right? none of mine n ur business.
let me be crazy, and i always do.
HOHOHO..
i'm so so bored can!!
LOLS..
went to IT fair today with my mum n michelle.
bought a laptop bag for $19.. is shock proof la.. millie say quite good..
omg, there is pack till siao de lors..
wanted to buy thumb drive. but, i c the crowd, i jiu forget about it.
LOLS...
den, went to marina square to walk walk.. ate subway... go esplanade awhile jiu go home le..
Took 857 home.. took me 1hour5mins. omg.. is like, so long lors. cause little india there jam..
coming time also jam.. really jam!! the last few stops b4 i reach suntec, need 5mins to travel from this stop to the other.. cant take it man.. i dont like crowds!!!
Haiz, tml my mum off, tot can ask her to acc me to RP. but, too bad, RP only wed earliest..
mayb going myself or ask michelle lors..
stress ahs!! this few days quite stress la..
cant find ppl to talk to about how unhappy i am..
nowadays, ppl keep provoking me la..
i really HATE it. is HATE okay!
when ppl hang my phone, last min bomb me & lie to me.
it really pissed me off la.. so better not try to do this to me b4 i get nasty..
I must plan games for kids for the party..
50kids, 3games, 10mins each game.
i cant think of any lors.. all the games i think kena rejected. cause they are for YOUTHS..
i no more brain juice le.. dont want to replenish it also. cant think anymore. my head is bursting!!!
tues- visit
wed- RP
thurs-party
friday- cg
sat-svc
sun-cch
acually monday xw need me to help out for the outreach.. but i didnt reply qiuyan..
coz considering if i wanna help.. my transport is costing me a bomb n also, i cant take it when everyday is church church church la..
too much for me le..
really, i cant take it..
past few days very very stress except for today..
go out with mum n sis, can forget abt everything in church n in my life..
overall quite happy la.. seems stress free today and also, long time nv go out with her le..
i also dont know why i am stress la..
dont tell me, anything can share with me..
i choose people to talk to, not just anybody..
i will choose someone that will listen, understand, give me 100% attention..
i tried telling someone that i'm stress n she say mmmm...
i dont have the attention la..
i also dont want someone ahs, i say something, she will like say i should this n that..
irritating man, lols.
i dont know how explain la.. just feel like having a break..
1month stay at home or do my own things.. impossible la.. haas..
whatever.. just dont provoke me. i'll cry infront of u anytime.
LOLS! byebyes =)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Haiz.. getting more n more bored each day..frankly speaking, i feel tat i'm friendless now. LOLS, okay, just trying to be funny..where have everybody gone..when i'm busy, everybody keep asking me out. but when i'm bored, everybody is busy..dont blame me for not being there because of this n tat because u're no better..dont talk things behind me, i hate it.also, it really spoils my mood when some ask me those questions..give me a break can.. everytime piss me off with all those questions really makes me feel like leaving.. i say no means no, where is the trust? friends? please...which person is on ur mind now? 80% its not who u think off now..dont ask me who, i'll not say. just not the 1 tat is in HTA.went to RP ytd with vivian n wanyi.. basically, for me, is less than an hour..ppl take 5 hours on the first day is ayb because of the laptop things..but wanyi only took 3hour+..this shows we went on the right day(:still looking for ppl to go RP with me again to configure the laptop..but i guess i'll have to go alone.....if u're close to me, u'll know i HATE being alone. H.A.T.Ei still want to go n fix my phone, still cant find ppl.. haiz..guess i really have to do things all by myself now..stupid..still got orientation.. haiz, can i not go..can i not study? i dont like the feeling of "all over again"got to make friends, get use to the school etc.. if i have a choice, i wouldn't want to go..can i not go later? haiz..i really hate it.. everyday, more n more feel like leaving..but what is on my mind now? i just cant..if i do, what will happen to her? den, the kids? bus? is not i want to leave childrenchurch okay. dont get me wrong..in the past, always looking forward for sat n sunday... but now....everything seems to be different in my life now..changes after changes.. everything from a 100 become a 0..dont come to me n tell me about everybody have to go through changes or changes r for the better or whatever shit.. i listen enough, i encourage others enough.. enough enough..dont ask me why i dont work...i did find, but, i dont want to do something i dont like..the donation thing, u better not try to ask me why i quit. go n try it & u'll know why..telemarketing for prudential, quite difficult la. haiz, what what what!!!!!!!! arggghhhs! irritating... can i scream? haaas!!! EMO post.. relax la..