Waaahahahaha!!
Today went to school… emaths was quite okays. Sat with bearbear today in class…
Mrs Ambika was very funny.. I ask her questions she answered me. I nv listen she say Eileen, do u understand.. goshh.. she know my name… hahahs.. while bearbear wanted to ask her questions, she said shhhs without listening to the question… bias? Alittle bit lahs…
Maybe because I’m her class student. While Bear is Mr chia’s student…
Den we took a break b4 going to physics lesson in AVA room…
Den we ate the Indian stall again… cause only this stall n drinks stall open…
I was the slowest again… this proof that I’m a little fussy in my eatings..
Lols. Wad GOOD English was that…
Hmmms, den physics lessons… can say nobody was listening lors…
He really spoils my day. She scolded me twice today. Bear once, seok once, tiaoli once.
He scold me is the most fierce one lors, somemore ask me answer the question…
I ask him question 1 huh he scold me… I knew the answers kaes. I didn’t wanna reply him actually. But, he keep calling, so I answered and then he continued lesson.
Went to buy bubble tea and take a look for hair dye..
Den took 811 with bear bear cause raining…
I forgot to alight at the first stop, so I took one round. So stupid of me…
Lalala~ den nothing to do at home, watch some Vcd and den nap from 4.30 to 7.
Den eat and watch tv lors.. lalalalalalas~ bored..
Tml going to causeway point with some members n kids… w0ahahhaas!
Havock? Nahhs.. we will be guai guai one… lols… blehhs
Tml still got lesson… siians
Monday, October 29, 2007
Hmmms... was really bored.. going around others blog to see see look look.. w0ahahahas…
People’s blog wordings are so small!
Hahas, so went to c their pics etc nias…
W00h00s~ Study study study!
Need to go back for lessons till 7 November.
6 days is till 10.45 while 2 days is till 1215.
Today time passes very quickly in school… real fast.
Can say is like got a lot of freedom de. Keep talking. XPP cause maths is really can talk de, den sit with gwen. While chemistry Lessons are in AVA room, combined with 3e1 people… should end around 1045, but extended till 1115.
I was really thinking of my life, horrible…
Building fund is coming! SACRIFICE!
I have an amount in mind but not yet prayed about it.
I’m still thinking how I should give, how much should I give.
Not much people know about my family situation now.
I felt that they are very unorganized and without brains.
Can’t they just think? Or listen to advice?
Now say want hire maid to look after michelle , while say don’t wan work awhile say I take care, awhile say this awhile say that.
Can’t they just decide and tell me what they want?
I’m also tired of hearing already. Hopeless can?
I wish to work, but 15 yrs old not many ppl wants ma.
Some more lazy to go and find one.
My dad says he would pay me to take care of her.
I’m afraid I take care of her for 2 months, he didn’t honor his word.
If I didn’t take care of her I have some hopes of working to give more to the building fund.
I also don’t know how.
Headache… headache…
Hahaha! No comments on them le lahs, whatever they want.
I just heard this sentence from my mum’s mouth: “because of you, the whole family is in a mass” “you are the cause of the messed; you are the 1 who cause all this”
She was talking to michelle, not me.
Who wants to take care of her even if was paid?
U still need to dao tie your own medical bills, high blood pressure etc…
And on Sunday, My dad said to my “zhe ge mei you yong de, bu yao bang mang”
Just because I didn’t want to take care of her.
What the hell. Saying me useless?
Like father like daughter got hear before annot?
Some1 put urself into my shoes. How would u feel?
Sometimes I really reached a stage I don’t wan to talk to them.
Can go home abit later jiu better. Still thinking…
But I wont do stupid things, don’t worry.
But I HATE people who scold me USELESS.
Some more because of such stupid reasons.
It makes me wonder and think.
What you says reflect on yourself lors.
I don’t want to say a lot about him incase people says I didn’t honor my father and mother.
At least they say me I didn’t really say back or scream at them, just hack care them lors.
Yesterday was michelle’s birthday.
We didn’t really celebrate because of some family probs.
But I bought her a piggy bank. Really a PIGGY bank.
I was good enough already lors.
In this kind of situation I still buy her something, miracle.
BRB, BACK!
I just screamed at her.
I was typing on my mircosoft word and she say I’m chatting with my boyfriend.
What the hell. Have any of you CHATTED with ur friends in Microsoft word?
I had tried my best not to scream at her but I just couldn’t take it.
I CANT TOLERATE ANYMORE!
I guess I’m going to fall sick soon…
HOWHOWHOW! Some1 save me… oh gosh.
I shall end here. Friends! Pull up your socks… in your studies or work or whatever you are doing. Jia you and stay strong! Don’t give up!
LETS ARISE AND BULID! SACRIFICE & BELIEVE!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sometimes, I really wonder wad is happening...
Why is everything becoming like this?
Why do people keep making me feel like a failure...
Though I know in Christ, I’m not a failure...
But everything seems not right for me...
Hmmms, for wad I think, I person who looks strong on the outside are probably weak on the inside. A person who looks happy might not be really happy on the inside. A person who looks loving might not feel loved on the inside. A person who Looks confident might feel lost on the inside. A person... A person... A person...
All these might not be applied to be of cause... I’m not that pathetic...
Hmmms, imagine, everyday being scolded by your dad just because of your sister... does it feels like? Nobody likes being scolded...
Sitting down for breakfast with my mum and dad just now... and he said: No matter how important your things are, your sister is still the most important. Please go and visit her...
His meaning was, yesterday after service, I didn’t visit her... and he expected me not to go today tml till she was discharge...
Don’t he think was alittle wrong to say that?
I wanted to go to visit her after I send that children church boy back home, I was thinking of giving them to my members to do that. But, I think I should be responsible to send him home,
#1) because I am a children church teacher
#2) Evelyn didn’t come for service because of her important reasons and I was given the responsibility by her and some of the other teachers.
At least I plan to visit my sister after I send him home right, when I reached khatib at 8+ 9, my mum called me, and say they are going back.
I told them I am at khatib and told her I will go later, den she say tomorrow den go, cause its very late already.
Without knowing anything, please do not say me. I don’t like it...
I was planning to visit her today and tomorrow and not going out tomorrow.
Please ask me first before accusing me of anything.
By saying me, u are very unfair to me.
Yahs, to all of u, u all might think that I dislike her, hate her or whatever.
But, no matter what, she is still my sister, I will go and visit her.
Some more she is not those very serious kind, is like some sort of check up and do some scanning n testes...
Please don’t say till I hate her, don’t want to visit her or what, please... give me a break...
I might not be a good sister, I might scream and yell at her when she talk to me, but u all think I don’t want to talk to her nicely?
I’ve tried, and I cant do it.
That’s why sometimes when she talk to me I didn’t answer her.
I don’t know what and how to say how I am feeling now...
Let me change topic...
Please do not judge others, we have no rights to do that.
For by wad measures u use, it will be measured back to you.
Nothing and no1 is perfect.
Everybody makes mistakes, don’t tell me u had NEVER done anything wrong?
If u don’t like others to judge you, den don’t judge others.
U might think that he or she is very flirt, but just keep it to yourself.
You don’t have to keep saying that or when the person comes, u say flirt is here or what.
What is the problem?
If u think he or she is, tell them nicely not in a way insulting them or shaming them..
tell them like: I think u should not talk to blah blah blah too much, tongues would wagged.
Lets say, your weakness is this, u also would not want others to look at you in a very weird and out-casting way right?
Some people makes mistakes without themselves knowing that it is wrong.
And another thing, I think that we should not insult other people’s religion.
Respect others can?
For we Christians, how would u feel when others keep insulting your God?
Different people have different believes.
U might think that their God is untrue or wad, but, they think that its true.
People might think that our God is untrue, but we thinks that he is really true n died on the cross for us 2000 years ago... so, RESPECT others if u want people to respect you.
And another thing, please, even before running the race, u have given up, u are never going to make it in life.
Stop thinking that u can’t do it can?
Every time after any examinations, people will say oh no, I will work hard, but in the end? Next time I will, next time next time... when is the next time going to come?
There isn’t so many next time for you already.
Work hard now! NOW NOW NOW!
Run finish the race! Why want to waste your 1 year? It isn’t worth it... in one year, you can do lots and lots of things. Stop all your foolish thinking.
I’m saying that wa, I keep saying others, I’m perfect, but all of us should move on.
I also don’t want to see my friends having regrets in life, everybody should keep changing, changing for the better.
I’m also trying my best to change all those I am weak in...
And also, in life, things come, things go...
That is applied to your friendships as well.
Friends do come, friends do go.
There are so many millions of people in the world.
How many are going to last for your whole life time?
How many friends are with you 24/7?
Sometimes, we seems to have lots of friends.
But when trouble comes, how many can u really look for?
I had experience that in my life, only one or two.
There is surely one person who will never leave you, GOD.
We face problems, difficulties on life, but don’t let them be a stumbling block for you. Conquer it and move on... you can do it...
We are still young, there are many more years ahead of us and many more problems to conquer.
If u can’t conquer it now, how are u going to conquer problems ahead.
This is life, we will surely face problems.
Time is needed of cause, everything takes time. But most importantly, don’t give up.
There is still a long way ahead.
In closing, I would like to thank those people who are always there for me or who was once there for me but have moved to another level of life and was busy with their different things.
Never give up on yourself because God has never given up on you.
don’t disappoint those people around you okays. =) Jia You everyone!
Lets move on!
LEENX
[first time writing 3 pages full on microsoft word. i'm fine and i'm not feeling down. don't have to ask me how am i etc. i'm very fine. thanks]
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
haa! previous post was long... lets have a short 1 today..
couldnt get to sleep yesterday night...
i didnt study much for me english ytd.. jialat..
i just couldnt concentrate.. u know u know..
yahs, flip through my files for 5-10mins... and off the light at 1130pm..
i only fall asleep at 2am.. oh.. how tiring can it be..
then woke up at 6 to prepare for sch...
english exam.. haha.. same mistake i made.
paper 1 sectionB,
WRONG FORMAT!
wth... in mid year, i wrote proposal format but is formal letter.
today, fomal letter, i wrote no format.
started with: dear sir. end with yours sincerely...
wad am i doing? i wrote a wrong format not because i dunno wad is the formal letter format, but is just wondering, cannot send a letter to a businessman hse if u r representing the school sports club... n cannot be return letter to me hse...
at that point, i was thinking n thinking. finally, came out with something. DONT WRITE!
lols.. i know its stupid but... i also dunno...
2nd time in exam this yr... gwen is worried for my Olevels next yr already...
lols.. den, its not tat difficult for compo, but i think i write a little out of point...
topic i choose: computers have become vital in students life, do u agree..
something like tat.. den i go tok abt teachers putting hw inside website..
paper 2 also quite easy lors.. can say easiest paper i had done in an examination...
but! whenever i say its an easy paper, i wouldnt do very well, alittle worried already..
hahahas.. have faith bahs, b4 i did the paper, i prayed. thank God for the wisdom =))
i still haven started revising for my chinese tml... haa...
i m tired, but i can't sleep..
i tried to sleep in the noon. fall asleep at 4plus, den woke up, den turn here n there... 6plus woke up already... i dunno why sias... normally i can sleep til very shuang one... sad lahs... i also scared i cant sleep at night...
jialat... hahas.. jiayou for tml chinese paper bahs!
LEENX
life isnt a bed of roses, but i will persevere..
Monday, October 01, 2007
Haiz... d0wn d0wn d0wn...
what am i doing now? i really dont know...
exams is jus tml, i only started revision for physics till chap 8, i only spend an hr+++2++ on that..
can c all revision? haiz...
i also dont know why i can study.
was very discourage n down for the past few days...
just treat it was mood swing or wadever lahs...
if u c me smiling den not so bad for u.. especially seokhui...
i this few days like disturb her.. haha..
ytd, i was sitting in front of my book for 2 hrs. i studied only 2 chaps n written only 5 lines..
how pathetic can i be... UN-DISCIPLINED?
i also dun wan it to be like this... no exam pressure yet..
i dont know wad i m feeling now... have exam pressure till cannot study or no exam pressure?
tml english exam already, haven even study anything... haiz..
how discouraged can i be?
past yr n mid yr, i studied with friends, this yr, i also dont know lahs..
seems like nobody had really started revision..
but remember, over confidence will result in nothing...
chem mock exam paper.. the lazy me only flip through a few pages of my tb..
but i thank God that i scored 24.5/45 which is pass by 2 marks..
its realy God's Grace... some failed, some jus pass or something.. even the very smart ones only score 30++...
i feel like digging a hole n hide inside..
iwas sick last friday having fever... which praying in tongues, i ask God for healing.. and indeed, he is our jehovah rophe, our healer..
after cg, my fever n headache was gone..
i was actually thinking, sick? haa! exams dun need study le lors.. win le lors... normaly when i m sick, i cant do anything... everything seems blank to me...
and also, my sister was sick today... after sch meet my elder n 2nd sis to bring her to the doctor, she seriously doesnt look sick to me, but i m not a doctor, i cant say anything...
when she heard that we r going to eat long john n she couldnt eat, she called my mum n say she okay, wan eat. den after tat eat ice cream...
the doctor say cant drink milk= indiretly ice cream
when u have fever n diahorrea, u eat these kind of food...
nvm lahs, up to her. she wan eat jiu eat lors...
i m going to get very very impatient with her already.
worse than a radio n anything elses..
keep say: october how? eileen!! eileen!! october how? bring me out lehs... haiz, october how..
she ask me to bring her out everyday...
den dun need study le lors, this is was she wans right?
i answered her: i dun go exam i accompany u want?
she say: HUHS?! CAN MEHS? OKOK...
den she say, u dare mehhs...
i say, wth, because of ur happiness, u wan to destroy my future?
plz lahs, im an express student, not like her a technical student
is not tat i despise tech ppl okay, for me, i think tat every1 is create by God, smart.
but! is just the speed we go, fast or slow..
but her, she wans everybody to sacrifice for her, she wans everybody to accompany her.
ask my parents not to work, she me dun go out. go out bring her...
keep worrying n worrying... u all think i feel good everyday c her like tat mehs.
many of u might think i m a bad sister, but, can i imagine i have faced for like this for 2 yrs, i had ENOUGHED. enough is enough...
sometimes i also dun feel like going home... c everybody n myself like tat...
friends, family, studies...
everything doesnt appear possitive to me..
life is indeed boring..
life indeed isn't a bed of roses...
sorry my friends.. i need ur understanding...
many of u or mostly would be my classmates, would think tat i m a really bad sister ..
i dun care how u all look at me already. i m tired.. if u all wan to know how i m feeling. just bring her home for 3 days, patience camp...
after this, u ask urself, can u stand her for 2yrs?
i dun like ppl to scold me sis..
mayb u all think, y u can i cant?
cause i m her sister, i c her everyday, i have the authority. but mayb teacchers n cgm..
u all should have alittle more patience for her, u all know her for months only.. im sure u all can.. mayb u all think tat y m i saying till like this. i really wanna care for her, but i have used up my energy on her. i had tried my best. if u had, praise the Lord, n its okay to treat her as invisible..
i seriously dont knw y i put it in this way, if u wan my explaination, come n look for me... i will explain it to u..
n also, imagine, tat day, when i was at my grandma hse.
everybody seems so concerned abt michelle knowing that wad lahs, its nt 方便 to say it here,
its okay, i dun need any of their concern, but stop blaming me can?
they r saying me like i caused her to be like tat
i m the cause of everything,. i nv bring her out, thats y she feel lonely n resulted like tat..
wow, such a good good good excuse to blame me.
why me? i can understand tat my sisterss, one working n is pregnant, one is working n studying.. but, i studying only. i didnt expect tat they would bring her out but why the blame is all pushed to me? cant they just think tat they r a part of the cause?
wad i only asked for was, dun push the blame to me can? dun need ur care, dun need ur concern, all u all want is me taking care of her right, if i cant study well, drop to NA or even ratain, u all have NO RIGHTS to blame me for anything. u all cause me to be like this...
i cant imagine i m tearing dunno for wad infront of this labtop...
i dunno how to really explain myself, just let me be down till im fine,
dun msg me n ask: i saw ur post. i understand, u okay? i know how u feel, i will treat her better, dun like tat, ur paretns n relative r concern abt u etc. i dun wish to hear tat. thanks guys!